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Shattered. Knackered. Wrecked. Exhausted. Tired doesn’t even come close. It’s no wonder I can’t get rid of the most persistent germs with attachment issues I’ve ever come across. I spent almost all of yesterday in bed, recovering from an epic hangover. It’s switched my brain into relaxing mode and now I need to switch back.

The cause of the epic hangover was the fantastic wedding of Seaneen and Robert Molloy-Vaughan. Wonderful, beautiful wedding. I am so honoured that they invited us. When I think of their wedding I well up, and I lost count of the amount of times I cried on the day. This puts Robert’s groom speech at the top of the list:

“Come the revolution I want the capitalist class to suffer in blood for every minute wage slavery keeps me from my soulmate.”

Seaneen is responsible for the birth of this blog. I read her blog before I had any clue I might have a mental illness. I just stumbled across it and was hooked by her amazing ability to paint pictures with her words. When I first met her (delivering a rocking chair) I was terrified of meeting the woman I admired so much – but she’s great. We chain smoked and bit our nails and tried to pretend we weren’t at all nervous.

Anyway, seeing her get married, resplendent in a white corseted dress with bright red hair and sparkly shoes, was lovelier than I can say. Those two are perfect for each other and I couldn’t possibly be happier for them.

And they put on one hell of a party. I got massively drunk and snogged three people (two women and one man who is also my husband). The hangover gave me an unprecedented excuse to lie around in bed all day – a tiny glimpse into the freedom to come. Hubby and I have forgotten how to relax. I have loved studying but I’ve been stressed for three years, had to snatch time to myself and we’re both tired. We’re starting to consider doing some fun things again. I’m contemplating the imminent prospect of not studying with a certain amount of trepidation. Entire weekends stretch before me and I have no idea what I’ll do. There’s a sign of someone who’s forgotten how to have a life. Looking at Seaneen and Robert made me want to have fun with my husband again.

Until then I have two weeks left to finish this dissertation. I’m not particularly happy with what I have as yet so I’ve printed off all 26 pages of it ready to hopefully revamp it. I just need to keep my eyes open for a little while longer and try not to let the memory of drawing pubes in the wedding guestbook interrupt my train of thought.

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